i must be despo. and even if i say i am. you are not to agree with me..

perfect start to a dramatic love story.

met at a busstop, gorgeously built standing at about 6 ft and a few inches tall with soft dark brown soft hair. gosh. that's a good combination. *drooling* wasn't anything posh, in plain casual wear carrying a backpack standing right in front of me in the bus-line. maybe it was the romance book i was reading.. or maybe it was that the boy was plain gorgeous.

well.. so as to not let him see me as a despo i kept my eyes on my book.. (the nerd who loved me) peeked out of the corner of my eye and meet his eyes..shy little me (do NOT contridict me) turn away almost immediately.. well i continued to read my book while waiting for the bus.

and finally the bus arrived. gorgeous boy jumps down from the railing, adjusts his backpack and strides forward. giving me the best view of his back. and i'm thinking already, can this be the start of a nice drama for my life? or it's just another plain old fantasy? maybe he has a girlfriend, though chances are high that he's single cos i didn't spot any ring on any finger.

somehow i got into the bus before him, double deck it was. i went upstairs, and muttering in my brain to myself that if fate says yes, he'll come up too. and oo! he was right behind me. what could i do but smile to myself? i took the seat behind the stairs where you can see everyone coming up. and of cos, i saw him. and having the smile yet to be wiped of my gleeing face, he looked my direction and smiled. sadly the bus was too empty.. (for once i hoped the bus was packed so he might choose the sit beside me) he sat in the seat behind me. i guess that's really good enough isn't it? i mean, i can think that he's thinking that that's a good seat to look at me.. (yes i'm despo but you are not to agree..) so while feeding my own fantasy.. i guess i just wasn't the type to go up and say, "pickup line". so i dug into my book.

when i reached my stop. my heart sighed (not really sad, it's like watching a bad ending in a movie).. my fantasy shall end here.. i thought, unless fate thinks i should be given another chance, he'll get down too. and my oh my.. you can guess what happens next. yes. he got off the bus with me! (ting ting ting! bells!) while we were waiting on the steps, i could feel his eyes on me.. ah.. fate..

imagine bus driving off.. zmoom.. i started to walk towards my right, hoping he's going my direction too, of cos i didn't turn around.. didn't want him to know that i had taken interest in me.. let alone giving him the horrible impression of a despo-found-target.. so i looked from a long shadow behind mine.. the shadows were casted in front of me, diagonally.. northwest. well.. my hopes sank when i saw no long shadows of the gorgeous man.. i was walking at snail pace.. and still no shadow of gorgeous man.. maybe.. he's gone the other way.

so i dug back into my book and read while i walked to the traffic light. nearly got ran over by a bic. and a figure cast over me when i was waiting for the green man. looking up.. i found mr gorgeous standing right there.. woah! wanted to pinch myself.. was i dreamin???

finally mr green man had his turn. when we crossed the road, gorgeous was the 1st to cross. it's like, finally i can ogle at him without him knowing.. i want to thank the land and transport.. that the road was 6 lanes.. so i had more time to ogle.. even better. he was walking in my destination's direction.. i am so glad.. but after a distance, he turned and walked into 7/11.. i had the urge to follow him and fake myself, yes yes.. i think maybe i'll get some food from 7/11.. but i didn't. i mean.. i shouldn't stalk should i?

and so my little fantasy, finally seen it's end. if fate allows, maybe i'll see him tomorrow, when i'm out with the girls. lets see what fate has in mind. heehee..

love reduces people to idiots..

i'm scratching myself like some bug infested mammal..

damn it.

i'm getting baygon.

my whole arm is red pokka-spotted.. think i'm in need a doctor.. AHHH!!! so itchy.....!!!!!

kills, kills, and kills. baygon.

went over to visit kat's blog. and all i can say is. i want to get a digicam. and of cos a new phone..

and POOF! goes my pay.

and another thing. i feel like quitting work and enjoy the last few bits of my 18 year old life. partying with the girls, shopping, going for movies, staying out late with the gals.. i guess i miss all that stuff..

and jo. i'm just saying it cos i feel it. and if you don't like it. don't read. don't listen. i can't control my heart or my mouth or my fingers right now. so. no black face please. had enough of it.

really.. i mean, the month of december was great. wonderful. splendid. though no guys no dates. all the girly gathering, outing.. life was GREAT. i mean i had one.

unlying meaning: not having one now.

i hate raffles place. every morning i feel displaced. every morning i yearn for the coming of evening. everyday i waste my time on my watch. and i'm losing the magic with the old bores of the click-clacks and suits in raffles place. and mind you. the click-clacks of raffles place is so very different from the ones in orchard or any other where else where people live not exist..

in raffles place. EVERYTHING. well almost.. everything. is robotically syronized. and almost colorless. no red, no pink, no yellow, no greens.. it's just black white grey beige nude blue... i think i might forget what colors are. maybe i'm becoming color blind.

i'm counting down to the end of my working days in AIA. counting to the days of colors, of music, of no more whispering..

in the meanwhile.. i'll enjoy my nights. cherish my weekends. and forget about mondays on sunday nights.

take me out! SOMEBODY!

oh and yah. looking for a gym partner.. stupid choco.. why do you live so far from me?! nevermind..

think i haven't told you guys...
my CNY resolutions..

be tidy (starting with making my bed..)
be careful (I will not. Shall not. Try not.. to lose anything..)
be a hardworking student and bowler
be fit and fab.. and with abs.. (gym peepz. GYM.)

well yep. finally i've come to term that i need to go back to the gym. i'm offically FAT finally. and girls will always be girls and always think that they're fat. so i confess GUILTY of being one of them.

yep. and this time i'm serious about it. it really is about time ain't it? can't let myself turn into a ball right? I'll get my big fat butt to the gym.. and i'm sticking to it. Well.. i think i will.. haha..

and oh yah. forgot to say another thing. i've been missing 06. for some reason. hope everyone's fine.

don't take life seriously because you can't come out of it alive.. hah.

now playing: damage-forever

back to continue my due complaints. well not really. i think i've really complained enough. but before anyone think i'm offending you.. (though it was offensive) i just fritting my butt off, so pardon me, i'm just enjoying myself blaming others.

another "forest" fire. i mean in singapore. i can smell smoke from my house. and it's so fogging.. ashes floating about. gosh, good lord? can you save those trees and switch the sun to low mode?

well guys. i'll post the 5 photos i took for the SADM entry when i finish it here alright?

i've finally finished my essay. but i think so lowly of it. none of you will see it, except for my dear cousin stephan and esther.

i'm sorry for the lack of diversity of my blog content.. but realy.. my brain is flooded with this SADM and that SADM.. so pardon me.

oh yea! i found my backup of the lost post! god bless you!

well.. actually.. it's another complaining post. so.. bare with me. or skip it.

complainin' is an enjoyment..

i'm back. (imagine that in arnold swas tone.)

my house stinks of baygon.

and well, yah, just wanna declare that i'm not at home now. not in the internetless office too. m actually at my cousin's place. she's out, so i'm taking advantage of her computer. hee.. sorry yah ah ying jie jie. hee..

well, for the past few days i'm commited numerous murder cases. both as assist murder and murderer. with baygon and my bare hands.. i've killed sooooo many off them. cause they are so desperately after me, kissing me whenever i sit down, stone, doze off, sleep at night, naked in my toliet. those freaking mosquitoes!

i guess it's the hot weather.. good breedin period for them or maybe their brains been burnt they're going crazy. i mean the mosquitoes.

and yes. i haven't been MIA.. really.. i typed in a horribly long entry, sumbitted it (bout a week ago?).. and the stupid blogspot kinda burnt it's own brain too. messed up my entry. that's so FINE.

and yah.

i found MOOD RINGS!!! i'm soo happy. and they actually work! i wear to work everyday (on my ring finger.. to feel attached.. and on my thumb when i'm out of office to declare that i'm available. and i didn't post about valentine's day? that's so great, cos i really totally forgot about it. hah.). hui! it works! changes from black to blue, to green, to yellow to brown. never seen it red though (red's anger. and my life now is so very emotionless..)

results will be out soon. and it'll be time for uni application. and good news for those engineering and science and blah blah blah students.. you just gotta sit there shake leg and wait for your results, and maybe go to church more often or the temple, or the mosque, or better.. all of them, then tada! good results jump up and cry. bad results cry and jump down. end of story.

and for poor little me, and the rest who has to hand in portfolios and stuff... we rack our brains and crap pouch and idea pouch to finish our application requirements before the deadline. and for amateurist me.. i have to go around asking all those design students, the school's helpline about how things should be done and worry shitless bout whether my work is too amateurist.. and not just worry, but prepare myslef for the worse case senario that i won't be admitted into the school..

*note: those who have gotten As, Bs, Cs for prelims.. not even an E in your prelims and still complaining about not getting into the uni. fuck off.. (i can say it in no better way). for goodness sake. give those who hasn't ever got A, B and Cs a break. if you guys are friting shitless.. should i go jump? (my room's a good location.. so don't try me.) i'm not saying that you can't worry that things might go wrong or get nervous.. but PLEASE. don't even mention that you think you'll get Fs and Os. unless you skipped a paper (which that would be ungraded) or did less than half your paper.. that is NEVER. gonna happen k? so for fuck sake. stop friting...

gotta run. continue later.

rudeness..

i'm back. finally. haven't really have anything in mind to say.. only that i've changed my skin, which you can see for yourself.

as for the music. i'm taking it off.. think many of you find it irritating.. and so is the cursor. so it's gone with the wind.

oh yah, forgot to say. happy chinese new year peeps! wan si ru yi! (that's chinese choco.)

nothing interesting happening.. and even if so. i've forgotten.

everything that's exciting is preparing my faulty requirements. so sorry, till i finish what i need to do, you'd be see much much much MUCH less of me. sorry!

and oh! my, forgot to ask..

when did i get THIS old?!!?!

when my relatives visit.. they keep asking me, "shiqi, do you have a boyfriend?" as if waiting for me to say yes, when my reply is "no." and a slight smile on my face.. i'm not a good narrator.. so let me show you the conversation.. which of course went on in english.. i mean chinese

[aunty] shiqi do you have a boyfriend?
[moi] haha no lah. cos not..
[aunty] really? have lah.. must be..
[moi] really.. don't have lah..
[aunty] aiyo, your elder brother have girlfriend loh..
[moi] *smile*
[aunty] both of you have grew up! about time le!
[moi] *smiles again* hmm. yah.

so. i thought this was meant for the 20 plus singlets and 30 plus unmarried??? so why am i.. oh.

ok.
forgot.
yes.

i'm ishallrefrainmyselffromusingthisword 19. not yet. but this year. and that's just one tinny weeny step to 20. and why don't i feel a tinny weeny bit happy? *tries smiling*

DAMN. (no other word serves a better expression) i feel OLD. there goes those crazy teenage years.

time sure flies!
not that i'm so cocked-eye not to have noticed.. only that i remember so clearly when i told my cousin that she ain't old when i was 15 and she was 19. and here i am now, complaining that i'm old myself. great.

18 a flower, 19 a dead one.