have you ever notice the difference between a few pounds?

well in a way i've somehow convinced myself that a few pounds is nothin.. you won't notice the difference, it's just the weighing machine and not the actual look (the shape of the bods). well yea, i though i convinced myself until..

i read cleo and style and looked at all those models.. i was silently swearin' damn.. they've got great bods and are posin' for a.. a shot for amnesia could be making you fat. GIUTS. hey, erase that imagination of yours *smoke pooting outta SQ's ears and brain*.. goodness gracious.. i'm not THAT bad (as in temper), am i? k. sorry. don't answer that question.

well.. in any case.. that wasn't the point. the point is, i used to say, "hey.. just a teeny weesy bit more and i'll just the same!" but note. that was USED TO. but after the few pounds i put on.. ok.. maybe a bit more than few.. i'm hopeless and bitchin' about other's beautiful big bust and defined waist and not needin to suck in their tummy and havin beautiful small hips and firm butts and slim legs.. ARGH. yea. a few pounds is different.

i know, i know.. you guys are going to kill me for sayin that i'm fat right? but goodness-sake.. please understand.. i really have put on a lot of weight, and it's not just me. i've got honest guy friends out there sayin, "hey sq.. you wanna know the truth? you've put on weight. (or simply in chena.. ni fei le.)" and what can i say? i mean i deserve this soon-to-be spare lorry tyre.. for not workin out anymore..

i don't mean i'm a workout-healthy freak. if you ever know me that well.. you'd know i'm too lazy to care. but heck. i love the gym. and too shy to go there alone.. used to have my brother's company.. but after he went into NS (nearly 3 years ago), those weekly gym and swim were bygones. and i don't have PT anymore.. and i still remember my bro saying this, " if you ever get bicycle tyres you're gone case.." i didn't believe it 3 years ago.. (cause i was still tyre-less), always thought i'd lose it in a month.. but i never got down to doing it.. and just kept buying large clothes.

goodness.. can't believe that i really do miss the aunties and uncles praises, "aww.. your daughter is so pretty and she looks like a model!" or like rich uncles in the industries, "wanna let you're girl have a go at modelling?" now i (not seldom) don't even hear it anymore. heck.
and here as i type.. i'm shoveling chocolates into my mouth.. hey.. that's because chocolates are suppose to increase your memory power, and i need it for my prelims. (ok.. guilty as charged.. that's a pathetic excuse).

whatever. i'll just get a big dress for grad night.. heck all that glamour.. i'll just keep a low profile.
and if i really get a lorry tyre and i'm deprived of all my confidence.. there's always mary-france-bodyline.. so girls? heard that? quit that no-carbo diet.. live life to the fullest. and i mean it. full in the stomach.. enjoy food.

Cultivation to the mind is as necessary as food to the body.